Tuesday, September 12, 2006

In My Mind, I'm Still On Vacation

Yesterday represented the first day of my academia-induced depression. I finally realized that the summer was over as a result of the New Haven chill in the air, which also made me realize that I'm back in New Haven for The Duration and that I need to get to work. I don't want to work. So I'm smoking shisha instead. I am so buzzing. I need to do some transcriptions, I need to read...hell, I need to buy the books that I need to read. But I'm smoking shisha instead.

It feels good. I'm going to grill some chicken breasts for dinner and then hit the books again. I've only read 41 pages out of 252, and class is on Thursday. Wow. I have no coherent thoughts. I just realized that I'm going to run out of time for this blog once school starts in earnest, so I'm jotting down as many thoughts as possible, as useless as they are.

Went to the gym today in an attempt to improve my mood. Ran a mile, which was good considering that I haven't run one step (except to chase London buses) since summer of 2005! Then I walked for a while, and hit the weights. Ok, well, I didn't quite hit the weights. I went to a weights orientation class and pretended to exercise with the instructor as he showed us how to use the machines and dumbbells properly. I'm not as unfit as I thought I was. I saw my arm muscles glistening in the mirror and wanted to start holding Ms. Olympia poses. But I restrained myself. It would have been a serious embarrassment! Y'all know how, to the average Nigerian, embarrassment (note the stress in the middle of the word--which is the wrong place. To think I thought for almost 20 years that that was the right way to pronounce the word) is the most terrible of sins and they will go to all length--even commit murder--in order to avoid it. Yes, I watch Nigerian movies and too many of them. I make no apologies.

Speaking of words that Nigerians mispronounce and misuse, let's talk about the word "trafficate". If there is anyone out there who thinks this word exists, please come and talk to me. I remember the first day I said "trafficate" to an American. See confusion. The boy said the word does not exist, I was arguing with him. And I don't know why I like to argue most when I'm wrong. I shout, shout, shout o, come bring dictionary. As we no come find the word inside dictionary, I say na because na American Heritage Dictionary, make e bring Oxford Dictionary come, say e go de inside. Years later, I am yet to find that word even used in any country except Nigeria. The correct term is "signal" o! I don't know where "trafficate" came from.

Big News: my mama's first grandchild and niece was born yesterday and she's named after us (I'm named after my mom, she's named after my mom, my mom ain't here, so I'm claiming her as mine)!!! I'm so excited to see her. Going to Atlanta next weekend to see my baby...this is so awesome!!!!!!!!!! My sister-in-law's water broke in a store in the mall, just like in a movie, and despite the fact that this is her first pregnancy and first baby, she only had a four-hour labor. I love her, but damn! No stretch marks, didn't gain but 15 or 18 pounds and now this! It's 7am, I'm exhausted, but happy, and I need to find something to do or I'll fall back asleep.

Peace.

8 comments:

NaijaBloke said...

Hahahaa @ the word "trafficate" .. Took me some time to stop saying that o.LOL

I was talking to a naija guy 3 days ago and he actually was still using the words "Biro","Facecap" and also where did we get the word "Deep Freezer" from.A freezer is a freezer.

kulutempa said...

deep freezer comes from the nigerian's need to show that he has the biggest, best item out there. if he puts "deep" in front of freezer, then you know he had enough money to buy his own freezer separately from his fridge, and to make it even bigger than the fridge sef! and now everyone says it because mimicry is what Nigerians do best. don't you just love us? :-)

Anonymous said...

trafficate is a word.... it has to be.... my driving teacher drummed that ish into my head.... "Oh... u wan kill me.... how u no go trafficate.... trafficate b4 each turn!"
-bones

Anonymous said...

I just made thesame silly mistake today, when i was asked by someone how one says the word in English, and i, full of confidence said "trafficate". The foreigner replied full of surprise that she would never have thought in that line. Her reaction pushed me into carrying out some research, which i actually did on the internet. Mind you! no online dictionary could produce this word and neither were there any hits on such a word as "trafficate" in English. I now feel so embarrassed that i want to warn all the so-called "english native speakers" from Africa and elsewhere, who claim English is their mother-tongue when they do not even master the language. Let´s be on our guard and save our skin!

Anonymous said...

I left my driving instructor bewildered today when I kept using the word "trafficate". When he could not take it anymore he said - please say "signal", it's simpler. It's a humbling experience.

Anonymous said...

actually there is a word called "trafficator" which means the turn signal..... you can google it...... so i guess the word trafficate was used as a result of trafficator.

Anonymous said...

Hahaha, my man and I just had that discussion about 'trafficate' today. O gel, you should have seen the look on his face, he's not Naija, he actually stopped the car to look at me and ask me to repeat myself, LOL

Anonymous said...

OH god, i was in an accident on friday, i kept saying trafficate and no one understood what i was talking about, i thought they were odes now i know better LOL.

P. S. no need to put down nigerians online, just because you're nigerian doesn't mean you should be saying negative things about nigeria. this is exactly what ignorant people need as ammunition, because they don't already have enough ignorance to work with.