Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Liars, All of Them!

I cannot stop laughing about this.
My cousin just tagged me about this website: www.myheritage.com, which has this face recognition software that pairs you with a celebrity whom you resemble. So far, every black woman she (my cousin) knows looks like Gabrielle Union, but that's neither here nor there. I am calling for a boycott of this website of LIES!! Ok, so it calls for large pictures that are forward-facing and straightfaced, so as to more easily facilitate the comparison process. I put in my first picture (me with my messy 'fro, freshly showered, no smile but a quirky mischievous twinkle in my eye) and it said that I look like a whole bunch of Asian chicks, Tyra Banks, Naomi Campbell, Natalie Imbruglia and, of course, Gabrielle Union.

The next picture I put in was taken in 2002, soon after I first shaved off my hair in South Africa. Again, no smile, but the twinkle is also gone. The software started off saying that I look like Tyra Banks (again). I thought that was promising. But the next celebrity I resembled was COOLIO! I was too shocked to be angry, so I decided to laugh instead. I'm still laughing. Ok, fine, so I look like Coolio. It shouldn't get any worse, right? WRONG! Next picture, someone else fairly good-looking, can't even remember who. Then, DONATELLA VERSACE (that hideous plastic clown)! Then DIANA ROSS (post-op and in her sixties)! As in, gosh, wouldn't it have been better for someone to just tell me that this was an awful picture?! And here I thought I was pulling mad dudes with the sexiness of my lowcut...apparently, they were just attracted to the freak that lies under my skin!
But then it said that I look like Gabrielle Union again, so fair enough. Y'all check it out; it's hilarious!

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

take heart ehn, perhaps they'r trying to diss gabrielle and not you?
LOL

kulutempa said...

um, hello?? COOLIO????? i'm still not over it

NaijaBloke said...

Hahahahh Coolio ke ...u need to see me laffing my ass off here ..U resemble Coolio ..hahaha ..u need to sue the peeps behind that website

Anonymous said...

my comment has nothing to do with this particular entry, though it has been as great as all the others. a friend dropped me the link to your blog a couple of days ago and i just had to write in and say how much i have enjoyed your writing - i feel as though it'd be bad manners not to say "thank you", haha. that "naija film blueprint" entry had me laughing so convulsively, i'm sure my colleagues are covertly looking into the admission procedures at the nearest mental asylum. this is getting diffuse and i'm rambling so i'm going to reel it in... i told a friend i intended to write in and GUSH - shamelessly - to you about your writing, so this was it - my shameless gushfest:) all the best...

kulutempa said...

awww...thank you, anonymous!

Adaure Achumba said...

Uh...coolio? Ok
Anywas I did the heritage thing a while back and wanted to blog about it too o but decided not to. I wanted to be humble about my celeb look alike result. I guess this is my opportunity to share it...um.. my result revealed that I look like Beyonce, Tyra, Jessica Alba and Robin Givens.... ha ha ha... i marinated that one well with cynicism and skepticism and quickly got over it...the machine must have been broken...LOL

Anonymous said...

i got chris rock and halle berry...i sent halle berry to my friends..better recognize